If you don't feel safe, you cannot negotiate Guest: Raheena L. Dahya

In this episode of WeCanFindAWay, I sit down with Raheena Lalani Dahya — a mediator based in both Canada and the UK, and co-author of a recent article on trauma-informed mediation practice. Raheena has been exploring what it means to bring a trauma-informed lens to civil mediation, and why this conversation is becoming increasingly important in the dispute resolution field.

We discuss why mediators are now talking about trauma and how understanding trauma can deepen our insight into human behavior in conflict. Raheena explains how trauma is connected to fear responses and dysregulation, what happens in the brain when people feel unsafe, and how this impacts their capacity to participate fully in mediation.

She introduces key concepts such as the “window of tolerance,” “safety in numbers,” “tend and befriend,” and “name it to tame it,” illustrating how these ideas can help mediators recognize when participants are overwhelmed and create conditions that restore calm and safety. She also discusses this as an ethics issue.

We also talk about the value of drawing from other disciplines — especially neuroscience and psychology — to enrich mediation practice. Whether you’re a mediator, lawyer, conflict resolution professional, or simply curious about how people respond to stress and conflict, this episode offers practical insights into how a trauma-informed approach can help people truly find a way forward.